Thursday, April 29, 2010

Writing #1--Once Upon a Time--I lived.

Over the years I have written. Yep. Here is a little skit I put together that we performed to go along with Elder Uchtdorf's talk at the 2010 YW Broadcast in March

Once Upon a Time....I Lived"
Characters-- 3 princesses and a reporter. Two princesses do not gracefully live through their challenges and therefore just live. The third who takes on the challenges and lives happily every after.

Reporter: Welcome to Meet the Princess, I'm your host, Rumplstilskin. Today on our pretty princess panel we have Cinderella, Belle, and Snow White. We'll start with Cinderella, uh a princess, I think now...(interrupted by Cinderella)

Cinderella (looking very dirty, tough and rough) I hated my step-mother/sister, yeah, well I went to that ball, I had the best looking dress of everyone there BTW and danced with the prince. I told him how horrible my life was, working around the cinders and all. Gave him a piece of my mind about how dirty the city had become. How I hated the gross, disgusting gourmet foods at the ball, I mean the creme brule was burnt on top. As I was making my grand exit, my glass slipper slipped off my foot. I looked back and boy was I angry. The prince had it. I went right up to him, I'm sure he wanted it for his own gain, well I grabbed it out of his hand with a slap to the face. Anyway, at 65 years of age I am currently cooking and cleaning for my last living step-sister. I still hate her and she hates me, so there!

Reporter: Wow, looks like Cindy lived, but not H. E. A. (whisper) happily ever after if you know what I mean. Now Belle, you look like you've done very well for yourself.

Belle (rich and hollywood) Well yes I have indeed. But let me tell you, I have had my share of trials. After seeing my dad imprisoned by the Beast I ran off. I tried to get the villagers to help for a time, but then got distracted by one of the latest books on the shelf, Twilight. By the time I finished the series, it was amazing I tell you, well, I sauntered out to the Beast castle for a visit with pops. A man named Gaston was the only person I found there. He was quite debonair and he had full access to the castle library so I married him and gave him 10 stapling young self-absorbed Gaston Juniors. Gaston turned out to be an alcoholic, carousing, self-abosorbed, pot-bellied sports addict. He left me for Cindy's (looks at Cinderella) evil step-sister so I started writing for Harlequin and made a boat-load. Ho hum (checking out finger-nails) I never saw my dad again or the beast which is a really good thing. That beast was the ugliest creature I've ever seen, and well I wrote that beast into a best selling novel and have enough to pay the lawyer in the lawsuit against Gaston and his pack of he-wolves.

Reporter: Uh yes....hmmm...Sound like Happily Ever After has a different meaning in literary circles. I'm sure many of you out there have perused the Belle's family drama on every magazine cover at the Wal-mart check out line. Wow, ok, so Snow White. What's your story.

Snow White (lovely as can be, high soft innocent voice). Well, I had to flee from the wicked Queen she wanted to kill me and then I went and hung out with the most beautiful animals. It was so lovely and how I love God's creations, but oh how I missed my friends and family! I lived with 7 very cute men, but never fear I kept myself chaste and virtuous. I cleaned and worked and found pleasure in my trials. I whistled and sang in a high pitched voice as much as possible. One day I was tempted by the devil (who I found out later was the wicked queen, bless her heart) with an delicious apple. I succumbed. I was overcome by this mistake and fell faint. A prince saved me! He kissed me! It was a very warm kiss. I did not make out without with him, it was just a simple kiss, because he was very righteous. Anyway, I recovered, I became white and clean as snow again. My prince took me to the temple, a real palace with lots and lots of white and we feel strong and wise and oh so bless and we lived happily, and may I add eternally, ever after.

Reporter: There you have it folks. Some princess rise up to the challenge of adversity and some do not. We have our pretty princesses and our not so pretty princesses. Some live, and some live happily, and may I add eternally, ever after. Until next time on "Meet the Princess" I'm your host, Rumple, see you next week for Enchanted Castle Makeover--Medieval Architecture, Modern Conveniences.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

analogies that hurt

Worst analogies by High School students! As funny as a garbage bag full of vegetable soup dropped from a 10 story building.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Spring Fever

It's spring. Alex has a fever. Day 4 or 5! He looks at me in desperations and believes I have control over the fever. "How long is this going to last?" "When will I feel better?" "Will I be going to Seminary tomorrow?"

I keep telling him "probably tomorrow." If he asks again I will say, "What do you think?"

Friday, April 9, 2010

Velcro 4 the Elderly

Tonight Natalie and I took a trip to the Wal-mart and over to Michael's crafts. My shoelace came untied. I just left it. Natalie pointed it out as we were checking out and I hesitated. I handed her my bags and reluctantly bent over to lacy up. On the way down I voiced my concerns about having to get back up. She said she felt the same way. Velcro shoes for the elderly. As ugly as they are, there may come a day when...never...double knot!