Controlled Freak

I'm a controlled freak. Or better said, I am consistently and consciously controlling myself from controlling others.

1. My kids can do almost anything, generally not as good as I can (like writing skits for general audiences) and that's ok. At age 47, I know how to back away and say, go for it.

2. It is really fine when underlings fail. Even if it is a reflection on me. I can redeem myself thru myself. (are you following this) And if I don't redeem myself, I don't look back anymore. (see #7, memory loss)

3. I've learned the art of not so subtle persuasion when people are not choosing well. For some reason it works for me. Like texting: Get To Seminary or Else!! Next day the kid is at seminary.

4. Hug a certain boy even if he doesn't know who is boss. Squeeze real tight.

5. I cannot control the weather, but most people think I can. (baseball days rarely any rain, perfect weather for science camp...the list goes on)

6. I thoroughly enjoy seeing young people take control. For some unknown reason I wince when adults take charge. At times I am pleasantly surprised and do not feel threatened by their success. I give praise where praise is due, but I sadly foresee where I'm going to end up if I don't control judgements.

7. I have a short memory. This helps me forget my failures and mistakes. I can take anything on. I could easily control the world or at least my part of it, but I'm trying to be a controlled freak.

10 Things I Learned at Family Reunion 2010!

1. Pack more dry towels.

2. Cabin walls are not sound proof.

3. Don't catch baseballs with short mitts.

4. Synchronized swimming develops the mind and body.

5. Brothers give the best hugs.

6. Old commercial jingles age me.

7. Alarm clocks in the early morning are very alarming.

8. Bring your own secret stash of toothpaste.

9. I cannot live without Betts BBQ sauce.

10. Nertz keeps you warm.

Macho Man and Madeline

Sunday night. 9:59 pm.

Family room on Fremont Street. Woodland CA

5 boys, ages 11-16

1 adult man, age 51 or 52 (I can't remember)

All watching Madeline. The movie. Yep!

wink wink

I was sitting in church today listening to the prelude music. Glanced over to see one of the cutest little primary kids. I gave a little wink. No response. Another wink from me. No response at all. A few more wink, and I see a little smile coming on, so I give it the old wink wink wink wink and a small cute wave. In the foreground and in the line of wink fire I see another hand wave. It is a man waving sheepishly at me. WHAT is he doing? I focus my gaze at closer range. It is the scout master man. He thinks I am winking at him, he thinks I'm winking and waving. Oh my goodness. I raise my voice and correct him over the organ noise and across the pews, "I am not winking at YOU!!!!" He looks perplexed and I point to the kid beyond him.

Later after Sunday School I meet this man in the hall and give him a good wink. I say, "Now I'm winking at you." As Scout Master man leaves, he smiles and I can't resist but give him a small cute wave.

Breaking Your Fast

Well this little secret came out recently. Apparently one of Samuel's primary friend has a little routine on fast Sunday. The boy, his name rhymes with barter and starts with the letter "C", packages up a store of cereal in his pocket for church on Sunday. After primary this boy, last name is the lengthened name of "Tom", heads to the bathroom to say his "breaking the fast" prayer. Then the cereal is consumed right there, in the bathroom. Well! I questioned Samuel about this practice. I wanted to know if he had partaken? He said once, they had actually sequestered themselves in the LARGE bathroom stall, prayed together, removed the goods from said pocket and shared a meal (in the stall mind you).

What more can I say? Nothing at all.

Writing #1--Once Upon a Time--I lived.

Over the years I have written. Yep. Here is a little skit I put together that we performed to go along with Elder Uchtdorf's talk at the 2010 YW Broadcast in March

Once Upon a Time....I Lived"

Characters-- 3 princesses and a reporter. Two princesses do not gracefully live through their challenges and therefore just live. The third who takes on the challenges and lives happily every after.

Reporter: Welcome to Meet the Princess, I'm your host, Rumplstilskin. Today on our pretty princess panel we have Cinderella, Belle, and Snow White. We'll start with Cinderella, uh a princess, I think now...(interrupted by Cinderella)

Cinderella (looking very dirty, tough and rough) I hated my step-mother/sister, yeah, well I went to that ball, I had the best looking dress of everyone there BTW and danced with the prince. I told him how horrible my life was, working around the cinders and all. Gave him a piece of my mind about how dirty the city had become. How I hated the gross, disgusting gourmet foods at the ball, I mean the creme brule was burnt on top. As I was making my grand exit, my glass slipper slipped off my foot. I looked back and boy was I angry. The prince had it. I went right up to him, I'm sure he wanted it for his own gain, well I grabbed it out of his hand with a slap to the face. Anyway, at 65 years of age I am currently cooking and cleaning for my last living step-sister. I still hate her and she hates me, so there!

Reporter: Wow, looks like Cindy lived, but not H. E. A. (whisper) happily ever after if you know what I mean. Now Belle, you look like you've done very well for yourself.

Belle (rich and hollywood) Well yes I have indeed. But let me tell you, I have had my share of trials. After seeing my dad imprisoned by the Beast I ran off. I tried to get the villagers to help for a time, but then got distracted by one of the latest books on the shelf, Twilight. By the time I finished the series, it was amazing I tell you, well, I sauntered out to the Beast castle for a visit with pops. A man named Gaston was the only person I found there. He was quite debonair and he had full access to the castle library so I married him and gave him 10 stapling young self-absorbed Gaston Juniors. Gaston turned out to be an alcoholic, carousing, self-abosorbed, pot-bellied sports addict. He left me for Cindy's (looks at Cinderella) evil step-sister so I started writing for Harlequin and made a boat-load. Ho hum (checking out finger-nails) I never saw my dad again or the beast which is a really good thing. That beast was the ugliest creature I've ever seen, and well I wrote that beast into a best selling novel and have enough to pay the lawyer in the lawsuit against Gaston and his pack of he-wolves.

Reporter: Uh yes....hmmm...Sound like Happily Ever After has a different meaning in literary circles. I'm sure many of you out there have perused the Belle's family drama on every magazine cover at the Wal-mart check out line. Wow, ok, so Snow White. What's your story.

Snow White (lovely as can be, high soft innocent voice). Well, I had to flee from the wicked Queen she wanted to kill me and then I went and hung out with the most beautiful animals. It was so lovely and how I love God's creations, but oh how I missed my friends and family! I lived with 7 very cute men, but never fear I kept myself chaste and virtuous. I cleaned and worked and found pleasure in my trials. I whistled and sang in a high pitched voice as much as possible. One day I was tempted by the devil (who I found out later was the wicked queen, bless her heart) with an delicious apple. I succumbed. I was overcome by this mistake and fell faint. A prince saved me! He kissed me! It was a very warm kiss. I did not make out without with him, it was just a simple kiss, because he was very righteous. Anyway, I recovered, I became white and clean as snow again. My prince took me to the temple, a real palace with lots and lots of white and we feel strong and wise and oh so bless and we lived happily, and may I add eternally, ever after.

Reporter: There you have it folks. Some princess rise up to the challenge of adversity and some do not. We have our pretty princesses and our not so pretty princesses. Some live, and some live happily, and may I add eternally, ever after. Until next time on "Meet the Princess" I'm your host, Rumple, see you next week for Enchanted Castle Makeover--Medieval Architecture, Modern Conveniences.

analogies that hurt

Worst analogies by High School students! As funny as a garbage bag full of vegetable soup dropped from a 10 story building.

Spring Fever

It's spring. Alex has a fever. Day 4 or 5! He looks at me in desperations and believes I have control over the fever. "How long is this going to last?" "When will I feel better?" "Will I be going to Seminary tomorrow?"

I keep telling him "probably tomorrow." If he asks again I will say, "What do you think?"

Velcro 4 the Elderly

Tonight Natalie and I took a trip to the Wal-mart and over to Michael's crafts. My shoelace came untied. I just left it. Natalie pointed it out as we were checking out and I hesitated. I handed her my bags and reluctantly bent over to lacy up. On the way down I voiced my concerns about having to get back up. She said she felt the same way. Velcro shoes for the elderly. As ugly as they are, there may come a day when...never...double knot!

The Organ

Took Alex over to the church today. He had a yearning burning to play the organ in the chapel. I dropped him off and told him to call me when he was done. As it turned out, his piano teacher came over to show us where the key was and helped him find his footing. She left, I left. Time flew by. Alex was deliriously happy. He was more than disappointed when I finally called him. "Hey, it's late, and I have places to go, people to see, thing..."

I peaked into the building. I heard music. I was not sure I was in the LDS church. After performing some of HIS music, Alex played "Be Still My Soul" and everything was sweet.

ps. I had no idea the organ could take the bolts off the rafters. I will send Alex with earplugs next time.

Wednesdays

1. Made lunch for Curtis Stapp--peanut butter and honey, prunes, apple, chips.

2. Took Alex to seminary/worked out at gym/picked him up.

3. Showered/Read Moses 6/Ate Yogurt/Cuddled Samuel/Prepared for classes.

4. Tutored in poetry and taught a short class on Hokusai, the artist.

5. Theater class--14 students! Theseus and the Minotaur!

6. Ate popcorn while visiting with Natalie :) (does this count for my visiting teaching?)

7. Softball coaching @ 1pm--16 kids, caught a fly (this is monumental btw).

8. Cards with Melissa and Sarah. (Nertz, I think I won.)

9. Went with Melissa to pick up her new puppy (Kissed Teddy the Pup).

10. Ate In-n-Out, thanks Curtis. (hamburger, well done, w/ everything, took out most of the onions)

11. Dropped off scouters in uniform.

12. Read my news online/checked FB, chatted with Julia (highlight). Missed Julia.

13 Blogged while listening to a WWII film in the background.

~there you go. Thursdays are ever so much more relaxed.

Oh, It's Blogging Time in Nebraska

1. Rachel and Ben have gotten hitched. I am happy about all the help I received from my family and friends. It was fun to meet Ben's family. I only have one regret and I cannot get it out of my mind and it is extremely vain. Here it is: I woke up on the wedding day, took great care in beautifying, packed my personal care items and then, like a fool, forgot to refresh before the reception. As people were showing up I even had forgotten to put my classy shoe on (I was still wearing the boot and a tennis shoe). I did not look at my hair, my face, reapply lipstick or anything. I was too busy enjoying myself and who cares anyway, everyone was looking at the bride and groom. If you have pics of me at the reception please do not post them online. I am pretending I was Queen of Sheba.

2. Took a long drive to Oregon en route to Idaho, where Julia settled into college life and also Megan was hitched. I drove this snow trip solo and officially dislike snow. I cried when I drove over the border to CA. All passengers are wondering how they lived to tell the tale.

3. Started rehab. Well we had a ton of rain this last few weeks. Did you know that when you are in rehab you are not suppose to run, even if the rain is blasting you from all sides on the stormiest, windiest day ever? Well I forgot this for a split second and something feels funny in the old achilles. Anyway, I am now club member and am stretching and lifting and hurting myself every morning. Pam would be proud (have you seen her abs lately?).

4. Theseus and the Minotaur. How many kids can I fit in my living room? About 15. That's how many kids are in my Spring play. Our Minotaur cut out because this version does not have a Minotaur death scene, but I told the other kids if they learned their parts early enough I will write an alternate ending. I am going to make it a bit more violent and dramatic, Homer style, since we homeschoolers do not have to abide by rules and such. Alex is Poseidon and Samuel is Bill.

5. Ward Conferences are almost over! What a kick meeting all the Young Women in the stake. I can see what a force for good, strong and courageous young women they are! Love my calling, but not sure I am up to the task. Am I glad for the help I am getting from others and from above.

Toodles!