Bragging Rights

For those of you who are expecting a Stapp photo, there will not be one attached to this blog, for reasons which will soon be made clear.

You may think you have bragging rights. So go ahead--brag your guts out. I do this on occasion because my kids are so darn spectacular. Whoops, I shouldn't have said it. I guess we all have the right, but the humbling consequence is usually well deserved. Please indulge me and read on.

There is a certain phenomenon, and from here on out I will label it the "Nose Against Dirt" (NAD). I will demonstrate this by personal experience. By the way, this is only one example of this occurance which I have endured.

Lately I have been bragging about Samuel, my wonderful (wait a minute, I think I'll take that wonderful back)...um, my son. Well, so Curtis signed a release form for Samuel to be featured on this years Yolo County Yellow Pages phone directory. Of course, a perfect opportunity for bragging rights. "Hey you over there, my BOY SAMUEL IS GOING TO LIGHT UP YOUR LIFE, well at least while you're searching for a plumber at midnight!!" "Dude, come this May you are going to get the coolest book left on your porch wrapped in celaphane. BE ON THE LOOKOUT!"

So tonight, yes this very night, I'm sitting in the Woodland Opera House, the very place that provides material for 75%-85% of my bravado. I hear the details of the Yolo Yellow Pages cover during the Spring Dance Recital in front of hundreds of yellow page users. My Samuel has been pushed aside for some other theatrical star! My head jets back and forth, my mouth wide open, "Whaaa?" People to whom I have bragged are seated around glaring at me, "Whaaaa?" I am guessing the parent signature was not a done deal.

NAD--ddefinition--strong and surprise attack from behind where the victim does not have time or wherewith all to react, therefor perpetrator is able to land victim on ground with nose against dirt.

I think I have blogged about this before. Maybe last year when I was braggedy brag bragging!

So here's to all your kids. I think they are better than mine! They are so accomplished and wonderful and famous! WOW-Whee! I wish my kids had their talents, intellect, physical strength, and spirituality. I guess I will have to settle with mediocrity.

(I wonder what the consequence will be of adding that last paragraph. I'll let you know!)